God is good, all the time! That is a core conviction of mine and would have been true no matter what the outcome of my recent illness. But I am thankful that he is also a God of great grace and that his power is greater than any adversary, physical or otherwise.
This will not be a long post as my fingers don’t always cooperate with my mind. However, I wanted to personally thank you for your prayers and concern. I am deeply humbled to have had thousands of people praying for my recovery. Just today I learned that the EFC of Congo and Hong Kong were corporately praying and I have heard of other movements and people who interceded on my behalf. This does not include the thousands who have been accessing the blog on a regular basis (Thanks Jon for your ministry through the blog). I still find it hard to get my hands and mind around that but I am exceedingly grateful. Given the chain of events, I am convinced that it was prayer that made the difference as I hovered between life and death for many days.
I know from Mary Ann that at one point one of my physicians stood at the foot of my bed and said quietly, “we really need outside intervention at this point.” God provided that outside intervention. One of the most remarkable things is that when I was at my worst, one of my heart valves was leaking like a sieve and they were sure I needed heart surgery. Today none of the physicians can hear any issues with the valve. The cardiac specialist said, “It looks like you dodged that bullet. I don’t know how but I can’t hear anything.” Yes, God can and does heal, even miraculously today. I am a walking billboard to his power and his grace (even if I am walking a bit wobbly).
One of the T.J quotes that my staff often hears is “Nothing to prove, nothing to lose.” It means that I don’t have to be right, or prove anything to anyone, nor do I lose by being weak or wrong. I was amused to hear that I kept repeating that out loud as I woke up from my drug induced coma. It was appropriate because I had no strength, could not do anything for myself and faced what we thought would be a long recovery. It was a humbling place to be. I am so thankful for the support and help of Jon and Steven and Mary Ann who have been magnificent in their help, for family who spent nights with me on a rotating basis and for close friends who dropped everything to support the boys and Mary Ann. It was much harder on them than it was on me as I spent much of my time in a drug induced coma, unaware of the circumstance I was in.
It has been so good to be home. A friend provided a new bed that adjusts so sleeping is more comfortable. Next week I start outpatient physical therapy. Today I made what is usually a weekly trip to Borders Bookstore (it has been 45 days). Yesterday I got a much needed haircut and was able to go out to dinner with friends. While I am weak, it has been a surprise to everyone how quickly I have made progress in regaining strength (please continue to pray that it will continue). Before I left the hospital, Mary Ann and I went down to the ICU to thank the personnel there. The head nurse just kept saying “wow.” She could not believe that I could look so normal after being that sick. Again, I attribute that to prayer.
More than ever I am aware that every day is an undeserved gift from God. That I owe Him my life and that He has graciously granted me additional time to serve Him. I don’t deserve it but that is the nature of grace.
About the Diet Coke. One could assume from the blog a fixation on Diet Coke. I admit to enjoying it. The real issue was that for weeks I had nothing to drink except through my feeding tube and my mouth was constantly parched. What I craved was anything wet and cold to quench my thirst. Early on, after I was awake, Jon walked into my room when an unnamed nephew was visiting and there I was laying on the bed, clutching a Mountain Dew like it was the most precious thing in the world. Totally illegal from a medical point of view and I don’t even like Mountain Dew, but it was wet and cold. It was not until a week ago that I was allowed to have thin liquids. Until then I had to have “thickened liquids” which kind of ruins any taste that it had.
As I regain my strength I will be working to complete my book on ministry teams that I wrote this past year and hope to get it out by June.
I will keep you updated on progress. For a time my days will be filled with physical therapy, doctor visits, manuscript revisions and rest.
Again, I want to personally thank you for your prayer support. Now I need to go find a Diet Coke!
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