Evening Update

With things moving closer to the rate that they ought to (which is slow, in a good way) our updates per day will continue to decline, as long as nothing big happens -- either way. (Decline meaning once or twice a day instead of twelve.)

I just got back from the hospital and thought it was worth noting that TJ looks noticeably better than yesterday, e.g., more than "just a little bit." He was watching the news, looked like he was absorbing most of it, actually sleeping (a coma is not the same thing!) and able to nod to questions, which he only kinda did yesterday.

When asked how he felt, he actually said in a whisper to one of the doctors "A little better." Although all in all, he is still uncooperative with anybody medical.

They come in to prick his finger, suction his mouth, or do other things that wouldn't make anybody more comfortable. While we try to help convince him its worth cooperating, I'm not sure I'd act any differently without knowing about the last three weeks. The only experiences that are remembered right now are bad ones.

I really wonder what he is thinking. Of the 23 days he has been in the hospital, he was officially in a light coma for 13 days, and effectively in one for 18. I am guessing most of the first few days aren't remembered either.

So basically, you start gaining your cognitive abilities back, you know you are in a hospital, and despite people briefly telling you why you are there, you really aren't sure. You know hospitals generally are for sick people, but the only thing you are sure of is this: you felt better before you went than you do now, and as far as you can tell, the medical staff isn't helping you feel any better.

Right now your throat hurts worse than it has in your entire life, you can't really talk, and coughing only makes you feel worse. You can tell that something is still slowing down your thinking, and you can barely move. You are also tired all the time. While people come and ask permission before they do something that adds to the pain, they don't really mean it, they'll do it anyway*. I guess you know another thing for certain: life sucks right now.

Oh, and you are vaguely aware that three weeks or so (23 days to be precise) are gone and you can't remember them.

Yeah, I am pretty sure I wouldn't be very cooperative either...

*To make things better they all smile when they do these things. What you don't know, is they are all smiling because you look so much better than have in the last weeks. You aren't daily brushing up against death. But of course, you don't know that you ever were...